* tiny but powerful *

Evidently I spoke too soon.

Happy Birthday to Jenn!

Wow, the weather magically turned beautiful for the profros this weekend...

I figured out another reason why I haven't been as stressed out so far this quarter. At the beginning of both Fall and Winter Quarter, I got sick within the first two weeks (and stayed sick for at least a week), and I also had family things to take care of (during both periods of illness). This time - I haven't gotten sick yet! Yay!

It was too good to last. The first few weeks of this quarter were, surprisingly, not supercrazy - which was weird because I technically have a heavier class load than I've had all year. The past three weeks had been manageable, and I was even getting a decent amount of sleep. It helps that Music 42 doesn't have weekly papers (though I am really annoyed by Prof. Grey's last-minute notification of assignments), and the ChemE problem sets have been somewhat irregular. But the craziness has just snuck up on me, and I'm caught in the madness once again. I had a ChemE120B midterm this morning which kicked my butt (ARGH, I was not prepared for a mass flux problem), and I have a 3-5pg. paper plus a Chopin-style Nocturne (draft) due on Friday. Plus, Admit Show is also this Friday, and FCS's Spring Concert is next Sunday, and then the Saturday after *that* is already our Spring Show! So I am feeling the crunch. I am up late tonight trying to make progress on all the work I have due on Friday. Wish me luck - and I could always use your prayers.

Justin predicted that ISTJ would be my Myers-Briggs personality type. He was correct (good job, Moo!).

What do you guys think - does it sound like me? And what's yours? (I agree that ENTP describes Justin pretty well.)

My Recent Thankful List:
- a completely obligation-free Saturday...the whole day!
- an awesome debut of "Less Is More" with Tmony at Grace Community Covenant Church
- the congregation enjoying "Testify" so much
- meeting all the friendly people at Ssonia's church
- Jeff Lee's baptism on Easter Sunday
- Easter dinner at Dana's house
- Jenny teaching me how to hit a tennis ball (boo to my badminton instincts)
- having Core meeting OUTSIDE in beautiful weather on a Monday afternoon
- Jenn is one of my Decorations minions!
- a fun/productive/mature draw discussion with last year's altos
- Dana came to visit RUF, and had a good conversation with David Jones
- finally getting the compilation CD of everyone's Viennese pictures
- saltysheep (11:56:43 PM): Tina, you're awesome
   saltysheep (11:56:46 PM): did you know that?
   saltysheep (12:07:55 AM): Today reminded me of that
- JuZtInCrEdAbLe (2:54:52 AM): hi tinar...i know you are asleep, but i hope you have a great wednesday and all is going well for you...continue to let God work in your life because i am definitely feeling him in my interactions with you. yay for director lady!!!!
- swimming-girldate with Chi-En!
- worship practice with David/David/Martha (in an itty-bitty practice room)
- Spud's message on "A Portrait of Work in God's Kingdom" (aimed at us seniors), which I found relevant even though I'm not graduating yet
- I really am fond of Crusade
- altos...yeah...HAHAHAHA

From 122B section today, regarding the waltz I turned in on Friday for the "Waltz A La Schubert" composition assignment::

(Before playing it for the rest of the class)
My TA: "Do you really want it that fast?"
Me: "Um..."
Kirsten (the girl sitting next to me): "Well, yes. You're a dancer."
My TA: "Alright, but I can't sightread it at that tempo..."

(Afterwards, the only comment...)
Shuo: "It sounds very Austrian."
Kirsten: *laughs*
Me: *sheepish look*

Sorry I haven't been posting much. I have very little patience for writing these days. That's been true for most of the year. I think it's because I actually have to write for my classes now, which makes me blog less. Anyway, since I have a joyously unscheduled Saturday at my leisure, here are some randomly connected thoughts (which are by no means exhaustive, but at least cover several highlights of the past week).

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Music 122B worries me a little. The class involves several composition assignments. I hate composing. Really. That may surprise some of you, but to me it feels very much like writing. I just don't enjoy it and it takes FOREVER.

Kari asked me once why I feel differently about composing than about choreographing - "because you like choreographing, right?" And I do like choreographing. The reason is that I actually don't see composing and choreographing as analogous activities. Choreographing, to me, is like translating: the music is already there, and I'm merely expressing it through movements that I see or feel when I experience the music. It's similar to arranging; I really love arranging music for Testimony, largely because it involves no spawning of new material on my part.

Jenn asked me once whether I consider myself an artist. After some thought, I answered, "Yes, but not because I'm a musician." I *know* that will seem very weird to some of you, but I still hold to it. I don't actually think of my music as an art. I think of music as a language. (And, as you may have deduced from my distaste for writing, I do not experience language as art. I acknowledge that other people do, but it is not for me.) I enjoy experiencing music that others come up with, and playing or singing as my own translation or expression of it, but I don't like to create something new myself.

On the other hand, I realized that I consider my particular preferences for organization and tidiness as an "art", in some ways. That's where I feel like I use my creativity and my personal vision for beauty and aesthetics.

So I guess I'm pretty weird. I see music, which most people consider as art, as something more technical; and I see organization, which most people consider technical, as an art. Interesting.

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I am really sad there isn't going to be an Easter sunrise service this year. I'd been really looking forward to it. I haven't been to one since freshman year -- because sophomore year, Easter was during Spring Break and I wasn't back on campus yet; and last year, I was abroad in Europe. Tuesday's Easter celebration (the event organized in its place) was really nice, but I still would have preferred the traditional sunrise service. I hope they bring it back next year.

Last night's Good Friday service at The River was also really good (sorry for the pun). Mindi came with me, and I had dinner with her and David at their house beforehand. I really enjoyed getting to talk with her on the rides to and from San Jose. It also meant a lot to me to be able to share with her what I usually experience on Sunday mornings. Pastor Keith's message was very lucid. I definitely learned something new that deepened my understanding of what happened on the cross -- I had no idea that one of Jesus' last utterances "My God, my God, why have You forsaken me?" is actually a reference to Psalm 22. Back in that day, the psalms weren't numbered yet, so people would refer to them by their first line. In this way, Jesus was not actually succumbing to a feeling of abandonment by the Father, but rather he was calling forth, in that day's Jewish culture, a very powerful psalm about deliverance. There's a lot more to this, but I don't really want to get into it here. Let's just say that last night I learned a lot about the way the Scriptures fit together as a whole.

If you're interested, I would suggest reading Psalm 22 and then comparing it to Matthew 27:33-46 -- keeping in mind that the psalms were written by King David a thousand years before Jesus was even born, and eight or nine hundred years before the Romans invented crucifixion as a means of execution. It really is remarkable, indeed.

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Last weekend was full of fun times. Friday night featured Full Opening on the Quad, which is the tradition for Opening Committee to reconvene at midnight on the first (or second) full moon after the Ball -- to dance both choreographies out in the middle of the Quad, and then waltz all the way around the hallways of the inner Quad (while switching partners and stereo-carriers every minute or so). This year was my first chance to participate in the tradition, since last year I was away in Madrid during all of April.

Before meeting at the Quad, we held a small pre-party gathering with food and drinks and hanging out. The Committee also used that chance to present the choreographers with our thank-you gifts: for each of us, a beautifully framed and signed group photo from the night of Viennese Ball. It means a lot to me, and it's currently hanging on my wall above my dresser (and it definitely wins the title for "least time spent waiting to be put up on the wall" out of everything else decorating my room this year). Thank you, everyone!

The dancing itself was a blast. It was definitely an adventure dancing in sneakers on the cobblestones, but both choreographies actually held together pretty well. Neither Mike nor I had reviewed the waltz choreography beforehand, and we still executed it without any mistakes! Woohoo! Pivots were challenging, but lifts were surprisingly easier. I'm glad I got to experience it this year. Waltzing all the way around the Quad was also a nice tradition. We had the chance to dance with many of the other people on Opening whom we didn't dance with very much after official partners got set. Yay for Opening!

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Last Saturday was Testimony's "spring retreat". It turned out that only about 10 people (none of whom were sops - *sigh*) were able to make the daytime excursion, but we still had a lot of fun. We met up after lunch to drive to Santa Cruz for the afternoon. The weather was *perfect* for a day outside at the beach. We played bumpercars and rode a couple rollercoasters, some people threw frisbee, and then most of us walked all the way along the waterline and explored the pier for a little while.

We drove back to Stanford to meet the rest of Testimony for dinner with For Christ's Sake (Berkeley's Christian a cappella group). It was the first time the two groups have met this year, and I'm really glad we were able to hang out before we go up to Berkeley next month to open for FCS's Spring Concert. That particular night, FCS was coming to Stanford to do some recording at the Knoll, so after dinner we had the chance to do a little singing together and Testimony went over to the studio with them to see them get started.

We finished off the night by watching Ocean's 11 (which had been a close runners-up for our Spring Show theme). My opinion: fun movie, dumb ending. Anyway, here are Dana's pictures documenting the entire day. (I've also posted a few of mine from Santa Cruz here, but those pictures won't stay there permanently.)

Addendum to previous post: I just realized that those four people are the only four TA's I'll have this year. My Music 42 TA was also my Music 41 TA from last quarter, and my Music 122B TA is the same as my (ear-training) TA from Music 23. They're the two whom I actively liked having as TA's, so that makes me happy.