no time. physics sucks. crazy crazy week. but must say:

HAPPY 19th BIRTHDAY, DAVID HSU!!

You are ONLY older than me by THREE MONTHS!! REMEMBER THAT! ;) ya still my big bro though. our "agreement"...in 15 minutes, yah? ;)

also must say:

testimony a cappella presents...
'TWAS THE MONTH BEFORE CHRISTMAS
TONIGHT, friday * 9:00pm * Manzanita Dining Hall
FREE ADMISSION & FREE FOOD!!
COME COME COME! :o)

Ai ya... my brother is taking his drivers license test tomorrow! Eek!

DADDY'S HOME!!!!!
and HAPPY 16th BIRTHDAY, TIM!!!

(a.k.a. super little punk) ;)

Someone's turning 16 tomorrow... ;o)

Just got back from visiting my daddy in the hospital. He's doing much better, but his hemoglobin levels are still really low, so it's still uncertain whether he'll be discharged tonight. Blood test due for 5:00pm, so we'll see. He's in good spirits, though, so that's really good. Thank you all for your concern and prayers. Now my dad will just have to take it easy and recover. (Plans for a trip to Hong Kong with my grandparents, obviously, got cancelled.) And, as always (I sound like Bry here), there's more to update later, but I'm going to spend my precious moments at home doing something other than blogging. ;) Soon, soon. ;) Take care, and please have safe trips back to school.

Reliving old camp songs.
Laughing about old teachers.
Searching 'Where's Waldo?' books.
Revisiting inside jokes.
Seeing the friends who grew up with you.
...
Simple pleasures. :)

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!!

God bless your time at home with your families.

Please pray for my dad, who is in the hospital with an ulcer right now. My family didn't call me when it happened last night!! =/ Things are under control now, but I'm pretty shaken...

*long sigh*
I just turned in my physics problem set. Thank God now I have a few breather days (in the form of Thankgiving break) coming up. I am still physically and emotionally drained from a lot of things. I'll be sure to cherish this weekend because once I get back, the insanity is going to start up again immediately. =P Two concerts (Testimony and SSO) at the end of the week (Nov. 30 and Dec. 1, respectively--please come!!)...so I am going to be super busy with rehearsals like every day of the week. SUPER busy. =P

I had a lot of happy stuff to post about, but I'm lacking the inspiration right now. I guess I'm in one of my down swings. Check back later.

Oh my goodness. That was one of the coolest things I have ever done. But you will have to wait to hear about it, because it's WAY late (agh! black hole!) and I have church in the morning. Wow. Today was a great day. God is awesome. :o)

My roommate brought me back some ice cream! (Well, a milkshake!) Thank you, Janet! :)

Just got back from Big Praise! For those of you who don't know what that is, it's a joint praise & worship session for Stanford and Berkeley students following the Big Game. (A lot of things are called "Big ___" during this week, like Big Sing, which I will write about in a later post.) So...Wow. I totally needed that. After spending so much time in recording studios the past two days, it was good just to sing my heart out to God and not worry about blending or not blending or pitch or tone or *anything*. It was so uplifting. I still have a lot of yucky things I'm facing, but I feel much more equipped to face them now. Not that I didn't know in my head that I could face them, but you know what I mean. Big Praise was definitely a much-needed time of spiritual rejuvenation. Thank You, God. :o)

Lots more to tell about the day, but that'll come later (hopefully).

BTW:

STANFORD 35, CAL 28

wahoo! gooo cardinal!!

GO STANFORD!!!!

CAL IS GOING DOWN!!!!! ;)

One Big Game, comin' right up!

By the end of the afternoon, Stanford will have won the Axe for the 8th year in a row!! Aww yeah! ;)

Whoo boy. Believe it or not...Testimony spent over *8* hours in the recording studio today. And I was pretty much standing up for most of that time. So not only has it been a long week, but it's been a particularly long day. I'm not really sure how to describe how I'm feeling right now. Exhausted would be part of it. Dazed would be another. Overall unsettled would also be accurate.

After falling asleep off and on all of last night, I managed to finish my E25 term paper in time to go to bio lecture this morning. It was definitely a relief to turn the paper in, but then I had to rush to get back in time to pick up my Big Game ticket and leave for the recording studio with Testimony at 1:00. However, as long and grueling as today's recording session was, it was a blessing to have such a wonderful group of hardworking people to do it with. I know every single person in Testimony is putting forth their entire selves for this project, and I feel very honored to be able to sing with them for God's glory. Anyhow, needless to say, I missed the Gaieties performance tonight (but I hear it wasn't as good as last year's, anyway). Instead, the nine of us (me, Steve, Gavan, Megan, Eric, Jason, Justin, Jeff, and Chi-En) who didn't leave with the first car went out for a late, late dinner at "The Garret." Fun fun times...at the end, we had a great time reminiscing about TV shows we used to watch and toys we used to play with as little kids. I FINALLY found someone who recognizes my description of this one TV show about a stuffed koala bear that comes alive when his owner is out of the room and climbs out the window onto the eucalyptus tree outside and has lots of adventures! STEVE knew what I talking about!!!!!! AHHH! SO EXCITING!!! :) :)

Okay, so I realize it sounds like I actually have energy right now, but I don't really. So I'm sleeping now, to start recuperating from this past week and to get ready for a crazy day tomorrow. That's right, it's...BIG GAME! We are going to kick some Cal butt. GO STANFORD!!! No offense to my many Cal friends out there. ;)

[PS: This post is going to look like I wrote it a couple hours after I actually did. Stanford network is having problems tonight, and I couldn't post it earlier.]

"Wheels I guess are turning
Somewhere inside my head
I know that this is
Deeper than you get"
- Vertical Horizon, "Finding Me"

There's a crazy mess going on in my head right now, but I can't really talk about it to anyone.
*sigh*

Oh...to make matters even worse, the physics midterms have been graded. Don't ask. I'm not telling anyone. Yes, it was that bad.

I HAVE JUST BEEN INFORMED THAT THE PHYSICS PS ISN'T DUE TILL MONDAY.
Now I can semi-breath.

Well, I just took my second midterm of the day. Physics sucked, too. But at least it doesn't win the title of "Worst Exam I Have Ever Taken." That one still goes to the second midterm I took in Chem35 last spring.

Now, an E25 paper and physics problem set due Friday...I really want this week to end, can you tell?

Ughhghhghhghh.

The bio midterm sucked. I can't do this.

Realization: the eight-legged Tmony monster consists of a quartet of the four section leaders (SATB). Weird, huh? ;)

Tuesday:
...E25 problem set due
...7:15-9:45pm - SSO rehearsal
Wednesday:
...1:00-2:30pm - Biology midterm
...7:00-8:30pm - Physics midterm
Thursday:
...7:15-9:45pm - SSO rehearsal
...9:45-11:00pm - Tmony rehearsal
Friday:
...E25 paper due
...Physics problem set due (but hopefully they'll have mercy)
...Tmony recording session

:(

Help me remember:
"Let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God." - Hebrews 12:1-2

It's raining. It's cold. It's midterms/term paper week. It's November 12. Blah.

Went to PBC (Peninsula Bible Church) for church today with Steve, and I brought Myriah (who's here for the weekend visiting Chris) with me. I really like their college group service! Not that I don't still like The River a lot, but PBC kind of has everything that I find lacking in The River. It's just very different--The River is one really large adult service, held in the gymnasium of the Sunnyvale Community Center, and so you don't really get to know people very well. The teaching and worship is really great, but I don't really find fellowship there at all. PBC this morning definitely felt more personal, because you actually talk and pray with the other people around you...and it was nice to feel like I was in the right age group. A lot of Stanford students go to The River too, but since it's so big, you're not really around everyone that much. I'm very glad I visited PBC today. It was a spur-of-the-moment decision, but turned out very well because we heard the testimony story of a family with a disabled child...who turns out to be living in Sacramento right now! That's where Myriah lives, and Davis is right near there, so it was really great that they met. God works in cool ways. :)

Goodness gracious. Recording took sooo long!! Testimony just spent over 6 hours at the recording studio recording "My Jesus, I Love Thee," and we still only recorded the soprano, alto, bass, and solo parts (no tenors yet). Very very long session--2 hours over originally planned. The technician was really great, though, and our hard work *totally* paid off. What we have so far, IMHO, sounds absolutely fabulous!!! Hopefully future sessions won't take quite so long...=P...and it should help now that we kind of know the procedure of things. Also, after today, I definitely feel closer to the girls in my section. We had some good times of prayer today. I am so thankful that God has blessed me by bringing the three of them into my life. Anyway, I'm off to get some studying and work done. I decided not to go home for dinner tonight. I don't have the energy or the time to spare right now, given that in the upcoming week I have 2 midterms and a paper to write. God is good, though. Thank You, Lord, for a productive day of hard work and for Your faithfulness to those who cry out to You.

Thank you, Bryan.

My away message from tonight:
"i'm at the sophomore formal with steve. and kari & bryan. that makes us the tinastevekaribryan, the eight-legged tmony monster. beware! :-P"

tee hee. ;) I definitely had fun tonight with our lovely Tmony group of four (coincidentally making up a quartet). Heh, oh the memories of high school dances... ;) Anyway, it was nice to get away from things for a few hours. Thank you for being my escort, Steven Ngai. :o)

Unfortunately, I came back to find yet another phone message waiting for me and, thus, a subsequent phone call... *sigh*

*sigh*

Yeah, I'm still going to the Sophomore Formal. It'll be nice to get off campus and actually go do something. I doubt it'll get my mind off things, but at least it'll be a step in the right direction.

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest." - Matthew 11:28

Last night was another long, late night. My family and I need your prayers, still. Please pray that God would be sovereign in our family and that He would show us His guiding hand. Thank you all for being there for me.

Polka = Hurt!
I got tripped over and stepped on AGAIN during the first 10 minutes of social dance class this morning! :( Now I have a bruise on my right calf. :(

I'm listening to my "Favorites" playlist from last year. Current song: "If I Am," by Nine Days. Boy, can we say nostalgia? It amazes me time after time how music can have such power over me. This totally puts me back in Rinconada 202, with my Emily Dawson sitting in her butt-cushioned chair behind me: she, having just gotten out of the shower, is now settling down in The Chair to do her history reading for the night; I am sitting at my desk, most likely talking to people online, working on a problem set. The room smells like Em's hair gel--the smell that it took me forever to figure out reminds me of these beads my cousins would bring me from Hong Kong as a gift when they visited. Oop...song change: "We Danced Anyway" by Deana Carter. Now Eric and I have just returned from a meal in Wilbur Dining West, and we're relating our day's experiences in various classes, and there is a very tangible connection in the air between us as we sing along to a number of favorite songs we share. Next: "Adam's Song" by Blink 182. How this just speaks Chris Wallis. That boy never failed to make me smile with his randomness. I miss having you upstairs from me. I miss your 3am visits just to sit in The Chair and hang out, and me needing you to repeat everything three times because your voice is so low that when you whisper (Emily is asleep, after all) it's impossible for me to hear you. Now I'm behind--Another change: "I Will Remember You" by Sarah McLachlan, and "The Promise" by Tracy Chapman. I am sad--I miss when high school seemed like it was yesterday; I miss the security of knowing you have a group of girlfriends there for you no matter what, even if three of them are in three different corners of Northern California and the fourth is in San Diego. The second song opens floodgates of emotions from exactly this time last year. Heartache. Letting go of the most important part of the last three years of my life. Don't want to go there...good, the song is ending. Finally, back to a different flavor: "Change Your Mind" by Sister Hazel. Emily is dancing around in her PJ's, tampon in hand (in lieu of a microphone), grabbing my arms and trying to make me dance with her. She's trying to cheer me up--and succeeds, as always. Oh, how our room had an atmosphere that I cannot describe. The feeling of feeling like you must be the luckiest person to have gotten put in the same room as your roommate, because she is now one of your closest friends and holds a special place in your heart. Emily, I miss having you within hugging distance.

----------
That was written in real-time. Just my playlist from last year, set on "random." I don't think I've ever done anything like that before . . . absolutely no stopping. No editing. Wow.

Talk about emotional tug-of-war. How different my life would be without music . . .

Truly a gift from God.

Kari just taught me how to put color on my webpage! Yay! Thanks Kari! :)
Now my quote page (and associated pages) are blue. Like everything else in my room. (If you've ever been in my room, you'll know I'm not kidding.) And this page is blue too! Wow! ;)

Boo to The Stanford Fund. {insert angry face here}

The correct spelling of shoddish is actually "schottische." Thanks Kari.

"What is faith? ...What the Bible calls faith involves having sufficient reason to put weight down on something as real and true. Real faith is never blind. A person with faith asks the sufficient questions and gets the sufficient answers, but then still must believe some things which remain a mystery. Faith--real, life-giving, and hope-sustaining faith--is a sure belief and deep conviction that something really is true and real, even though you can't see it with your eyes, or measure or prove it with scientific methods. So there is always something mysterious about faith, and that's why it requires trust.
. . . For many, faith means believing something, and then 'strong faith' means really believing it a lot. But Biblical faith involves not merely believing something is true, but also living according to that belief. It's about putting your weight down on what you believe. When your belief gets acted out in real life through obedience, that is what the Bible calls faith. Belief + Obedience = Faith."
- Pastor Keith Zafren, The River Church Community, 11/4/01

The Ragtime Ball was sooo much fun! Well, parts of it weren't fun, like being really cold half the time and getting stepped on more than expected (not by my partners--by neighboring couples!) and having my left calf still be sore from some unknown cause earlier in the week, but overall I had a wonderful wonderful time tonight. I went vintage clothing shopping with Kari and her friend Kristin after brunch today, but I wasn't able to find anything (such is the usual fate of my shopping excursions). Kari, however, found a really awesome red dress that looks absolutely *fabulous* on her!! :) Luckily, Jenny who lives down the hall from me saved the day--she lent me this really cool blue wrap-around-ish dress that makes a v-neck neckline. It was very fitted and flowy material and a lot of fun to wear for dancing. :) During the hour preceding the start of the dance, there was a free Charleston class, which Kari, Kristin, Eric, & I went to (after Eric had to run back to Twain for me because I forgot my ticket...I'm such a dork...sorry Eric, and thank you!!) ... but I was having trouble retaining enough coordination for all the moves. Perhaps it's just because I'm not good at it yet, but I don't really like the Charleston. Anyway, after I started moving enough to keep semi-warm, things started to be a lot more fun. ;) Interspersed throughout the night there were performances by four different Stanford dance groups, all of which were totally amazing. As during Jammix last week, my dancing consisted mainly of swing and cross-step waltz, but by the end of the night Eric and I semi-figured out the shoddish (sp?) and rotary waltz by trial-and-error. That was fun. :) Well, dancing with Eric in general is fun, but waltzing with him is especially fun. Definitely one of the highlights of the night. :o) Jeff was also there!! He looked way cool in his red suspenders and black hat! I swing-danced with Jeff quite a bit too--he's such an animated dancer, you can't help but bounce around too! Unfortunately the night ended on somewhat of a sour note: as we were taking some photos after the dance ended, someone dropped my camera on the floor and I'm not sure if my film was exposed or not. :( But all in all, I had a great night, and I'm feeling pretty good despite the workload I've got ahead of me tomorrow. I ought to get to bed now 'cause I have church in the morning. More to come later--specifically, the story of the SSO Halloween Concert. ;) Stay tuned!

Look! I made links!!
<-----

(Dang, that arrow isn't going to be as cool anymore once I make another post. Phoo.)

I can't believe it's November.

It is good for me
To lay it down at Your feet.
It is good for me, to lay the good and bad
In Your hands, my God.
It's good for me to lay it down at Your feet.
It is good for me.

You are the constant one when
My life is overwhelmed.
And You stay the same when all around is changing.
And, oh, how good it is, yeah,
Just to know the life You give.
And my song shall ever be
That my God is faithful.
And when the shadow of sorrow comes
I will fall on the only one I know
Is the rock that won't be shaken.

- Watermark, "Good For Me"

My brain is fried, so I'm going to enter the mindless/pointless mode. Can someone teach me the html code to make the background color of my Stanford webpage something other than white?

I am so tired. I slept for 9 hours--straight through physics lecture this morning--and I'm still exhausted. I'm also still not done with the physics problem set. Good thing I have an extension. Gah. Crazy week. I need to stop having these.

"God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth should change, though the mountains shake in the heart of the sea.... The Lord Almighty is with us; the God of Jacob is our fortress." - Psalm 46:1, 2, 11

"So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." - Isaiah 41:10